Shock as McDonald's offers burgers for money

In a move that has left economists baffled and customers furious, McDonald's has announced it will now be exchanging its burgers for money. The groundbreaking decision has sparked outrage among diners accustomed to paying with good vibes and polite nods.

"It’s just so unexpected," said local man Chip Nuggetson, clutching a handful of change. "I thought my loyalty to the brand was enough. Now they’re asking for cold, hard cash? It’s a betrayal."

The fast-food giant confirmed the policy, claiming it was part of a "radical new approach" to running a business. Spokesperson Gracie Nuggetts described it as "innovative," adding, "Charging for food allows us to keep the lights on and maybe even pay staff. It’s bold, but we’re excited."

Customers across the country are struggling to adjust. Reports have surfaced of people walking into McDonald's, only to leave in shock after being told their Big Mac wasn’t free. "I thought this was a community," said one tearful patron.

Social media has exploded with calls to boycott the chain, with hashtags like #BurgersAreRights and #FreeTheFries trending worldwide. Rival chains, meanwhile, have capitalised on the controversy. Burger King was quick to tweet: "We’d never dream of charging you for food. Except, of course, we do."

As McDonald's rolls out its controversial policy, analysts predict this could mark a worrying trend of businesses expecting to be paid for their services. A new era, some say, where even happiness comes with a price tag.