Man steals car, realises it’s a Tesla, buys owner brand-new BMW

In a bizarre yet heart-warming turn of events, a local car thief in Colchester was struck by an unexpected wave of remorse after realising the vehicle he had stolen was, in fact, a Tesla.

According to sources, the unnamed thief had executed what he believed to be a routine grand theft auto operation in the early hours of Sunday morning. However, it wasn’t long before things took an unusual turn.

Witnesses report that moments after making his getaway, the man pulled over, stepped out of the vehicle, and stared at it in what can only be described as existential horror.

“It was like he had seen a ghost,” said one bystander, still clutching their morning coffee. “One second, he looked thrilled with his heist; the next, he looked like he’d made the worst decision of his life.”

Realising that he had unwittingly stolen a Tesla, the thief quickly found himself grappling with a moral dilemma. The idea that his crime had inadvertently supported Musk’s empire filled him with deep regret.

Overwhelmed with sympathy for the owner, who was evidently trapped in the Tesla ecosystem, he did the only rational thing—he destroyed the car and bought the owner a brand-new BMW instead.

“I felt awful,” the remorseful thief allegedly confessed. “Nobody deserves to suffer like that. Owning a Tesla means you’re constantly at the mercy of Musk’s latest whims. I just couldn’t leave that poor soul in such a dire situation.”

The car’s owner, who wished to remain anonymous, was initially confused but ultimately grateful for the unexpected upgrade. “I woke up to find my Tesla gone and a brand-new BMW in its place. It’s hard to be mad at that.”

The thief, meanwhile, has reportedly vanished into obscurity, leaving behind only a note that read: “You’re free now.”

The Colchester Times approached Elon Musk, however he was unavailable for comment.