Essex Highways accidentally orders 10,000 traffic cones, doesn't know what to do with them

Essex Highways is facing a logistical nightmare after mistakenly ordering 10,000 traffic cones, leading to what some are calling the biggest roadwork-related blunder in county history.

Now, with storage yards overflowing and no immediate need for such an overwhelming number of cones, council officials are scrambling to come up with a solution.

The error reportedly occurred when a procurement officer “misclicked” on the council’s internal ordering system. While the department usually places orders in the hundreds, an extra couple of zeros slipped in, leaving Essex awash in a sea of orange.

One anonymous source inside the council admitted, “We meant to order 100, but before we knew it, the order had gone through for 10,000. At first, we thought it was a glitch, but then the lorries started arriving… and they didn’t stop.”

Essex Highways has reassured the public that the situation is “under review” and that taxpayers will not be footing an additional bill for the traffic cone catastrophe — though many remain sceptical.

A spokesperson for the department attempted to downplay the situation, stating, “While this is an unexpected surplus of equipment, we will find ways to make use of the cones over time.” However, when pressed for specifics, they admitted they were “still working on a plan.”

With an entire country’s worth of cones now in their possession, Essex Highways is reportedly considering various options to repurpose them, including a new tourist attraction dubbed “The Great Cone Maze of Essex” in Colchester’s Castle Park.

Local rugby clubs have offered to take a few hundred for an oversized game of skittles, while others have suggested selling them directly to students, given that traffic cones often mysteriously appear outside student houses.

There is even a proposal to create an Essex Highways themed obstacle course for a charity fun run where participants must navigate their way through the ultimate roadworks experience.

However, not all suggestions have been practical. One councillor reportedly proposed using the cones to “line every road in Essex” to make the county’s already notorious congestion even more legendary.

News of the traffic cone blunder has sparked reactions ranging from amusement to frustration. Local resident Jane commented, “Honestly, I don’t see the problem. They could just scatter them across the A12 and nobody would even notice.”

Others have been less forgiving, with one Chelmsford motorist saying, “First, they can’t fix potholes properly. Now they’re panic-buying cones. What’s next, 30,000 litres of paint?”

Meanwhile, opportunistic eBay sellers have already been spotted listing “Authentic Essex Council Traffic Cones” online, with prices reaching as high as £50 per cone.

Essex Highways has assured the public that a plan is in place to “gradually distribute” the cones for future projects, though sceptics remain unconvinced.

Sources inside the council have suggested that this was an isolated incident, though leaked procurement documents show an oddly high order for temporary bollards is currently in the works.

In the meantime, residents are advised to brace themselves for unexpected traffic diversions, as Essex Highways does its best to work through its newfound stockpile — one road closure at a time.