Emergency services respond to major incident after bus turns up on time

Emergency services were stretched to their limits in Colchester’s city centre yesterday after a bus turned up exactly when it was supposed to, triggering scenes of mass confusion and widespread panic.

The S1, notorious for arriving late or not at all, pulled into the High Street stop at precisely 10:37am, as scheduled. Within minutes, multiple 999 calls were made, reporting everything from fainting passengers to full-blown hysteria.

"I was just standing there, waiting for the usual delay, when suddenly, boom, there it was," said local man Dave, 48, who had to be treated for shock. "I thought I was hallucinating. Then I saw the bus doors open, and I just lost it."

The unprecedented event led to an immediate response from emergency services. Six ambulances, a rapid response vehicle, and three air ambulances were dispatched to the scene as commuters collapsed in disbelief.

Police declared a major incident shortly after and erected a cordon around the bus stop to allow experts from the National Crime Agency to investigate.

Eyewitnesses described absolute chaos as passengers struggled to process the situation. One woman reportedly attempted to climb a lamppost for safety, while another was seen whispering "It’s the end times." A priest also arrived of his own accord and began offering impromptu last rites.

Passengers who did get on reported further confusion when the driver greeted them cheerfully and even knew the correct fares. One commuter, still shaken by the experience, claimed the bus also had working air conditioning, though this remains unverified.

Firstbus officials were also at a loss to explain the incident. “We are deeply sorry for any distress caused,” a spokesperson said in a hastily prepared statement.

“We are investigating what went wrong and want to assure customers that this level of efficiency will not be repeated.”

At the time of writing, the same bus service is running 37 minutes late, restoring a sense of normality across Colchester.