The new facilities have one small problem: you can't get inside
Colchester City Council has been left red-faced after a £500,000 public toilet project was revealed to have a slight problem: there’s no way to actually get inside it.
The shiny new toilet, located in lower Castle Park, has been hailed as the council’s latest attempt to modernise public amenities, boasting high-end features like heated seats, touchless taps, and ambient lighting.
However, residents were quick to notice that while the outside of the toilet looks the part, the inside is another story—there’s no door.
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Speaking to The Colchester Times, one local said: “I thought it was some sort of joke at first.”
“It looks like a proper toilet from the outside, all fancy and new. But when I walked up to it, I realised there’s no entrance. It’s just a wall. No door. No way in. What are we supposed to do, just admire it?”
The toilet, which was intended to offer a more luxurious public experience, has no visible way to access its facilities, leaving a number of confused passers-by baffled by the design.
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The council’s investment appears to have resulted in nothing more than a large, polished structure with no functional purpose.
“I tried knocking on the side, thinking maybe there was some kind of secret entrance,” said Gary, a local resident.
“But nope, nothing. It’s just a big, empty box. It’s like they spent all the money on the outside and forgot there’s meant to be something inside for people to actually use.”
While some local architects have suggested the building could be a statement on modern architecture or even a form of performance art, most residents are simply frustrated.
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“I don’t care about what they’re trying to say with the design, I just want somewhere to go to the toilet,” said one resident, who was spotted walking away from the building in frustration. “It’s nice that it looks fancy, but can we get a door, please?”
In the wake of the debacle, the council has promised to “look into the situation,” though they have not specified when—or if—a door will be installed.
“We’re aware of the issue, and we’re exploring options to allow people to actually use the toilet,” a spokesperson said. “But we’re also committed to maintaining the integrity of the design.”
For now, Colchester residents will have to make do with the nearest public loo that does have a door, albeit without the same level of marble tiling.
As for the £500,000 toilet, it’s safe to say it’s become the talk of the town, though perhaps for all the wrong reasons.
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