Council announces ambitious plan to finish roadworks by 2087

Colchester residents have been reassured that the long-running roadworks for the city's Rapid Transit System will be completed “well within the century”, according to council officials.

The ambitious target of 2087 was revealed in a statement this week, with the council promising to “accelerate progress” on the much-anticipated bus lane.

Works began in early 2021, with initial estimates suggesting completion by 2023. However, unforeseen delays—including a misplaced traffic cone in 2022 and a light drizzle in August 2023—forced a series of extensions.

A council spokesperson described the new timeline as “realistic, but optimistic.”

“We understand residents are eager to see the work completed,” they said. “That’s why we’re committing to a firm deadline of no later than the late 2080s, assuming no further unexpected delays, such as wind.”

Commuters have welcomed the news, with some saying they look forward to their great-grandchildren enjoying the benefits of the improved bus network.

To ensure progress remains on track, the council has appointed a dedicated Strategic Highways Improvement Taskforce, who will meet annually to discuss whether work should resume.

Meanwhile, the unfinished stretch of road will remain coned off, with one lane reserved for construction vehicles, and another for the storage of important roadwork materials, such as empty coffee cups and abandoned hi-vis jackets.

Professor Sloth, of the Colchester Research Association for Sustainable Highways (CRASH), expressed his frustration. Speaking to The Colchester Times, he said: “This is an insult to the people of Colchester. By the time this so-called ‘Rapid’ Transit Scheme is finished, we’ll all be commuting via hoverboard.

“The council’s idea of ‘progress’ appears to be coning off roads, staring at them for decades, and then blaming the weather. At this rate, I fully expect them to miss their 2087 deadline and blame it on a strong breeze in 2086.”

For now, motorists are advised to follow the latest diversions, which currently direct traffic via Ipswich.

Residents with questions about the project are invited to attend a public consultation, scheduled for the summer of 2054, subject to delays.