Anger after council accidentally orders fake trees in plan to improve air quality

Residents have slammed Colchester City Council after a mix-up meant they ordered 500 fake trees as part of their ‘Greener Tomorrow’ initiative.

The scheme, launched last year, promised to plant hundreds of trees and plants across the city centre to improve air quality and create more green spaces.

However, eagle-eyed residents were quick to notice something was off when workers began planting trees that were suspiciously shiny and smelled faintly of PVC.

“I thought it was a joke at first,” said local resident Helen Birch. “But then I touched one, and it made a squeaky noise. Real trees don’t squeak.”

Another added: “We wanted a greener Colchester, not a tackier one. Now Castle Park looks like a showroom for garden centre rejects.”

In a statement, the council admitted that there had been “a mistake at some point during the ordering process.”

The trees, which cost £600 each, are made from a weather-resistant plastic and come with a lifetime guarantee, though they are incapable of producing oxygen or providing a habitat for wildlife.

“One pigeon tried to land on a branch and slipped straight off,” according to an onlooker. “And some of them are tiny – its like they bought them from a toy shop,” he continued in anger.

Colchester council’s mix-up comes just days after Wivenhoe’s own tree incident, which remains an issue for residents in the usually peaceful town.

The council’s environmental spokesperson defended the decision to proceed with installations, citing budget constraints.

“While they may not be real trees, they symbolise our commitment to sustainability,” she said. “Plus, they’re very low maintenance. No watering required!”

Despite the backlash, the council insists lessons have been learned. “We’ll make sure our next tree order includes actual trees,” a spokesperson assured.

“We will be carrying out an internal investigation to determine what went wrong,” they added.

In the meantime, the plastic trees will remain in place, serving as a constant reminder of what happens when environmental ambition meets admin error.

“At least they won’t lose their leaves in autumn,” said one resident, with a sigh.